Oh, old Varg

 

Oh, old Varg  

was once young —  

and that’s a fact.

As he ought,  

without a thought,  

he grabbed his shield and sword  

to pillage the whole world.

On the ship he made some friends  

of very low intellect,  

but still he earned their respect.

For Odin and Thor  

they toured the world,  

seeking death,  

but riches as well.

So on the shore  

they knocked the door,  

and the monk said:  

“Excuse me, kind sir…”  

Varg replied with an "aargh".

They didn’t put  

much of a fight —  

they were happy  

to be martyrized.

Now the years have passed,  

and Varg is old,  

as we said above.

For him it’s too late  

to claim his fate;  

Valhalla is gone,  

and his soul is torn.

So old Varg  

became a monk.  

To Jesus he prays  

to take his sins away.

Nick Parastatidis